Self-esteem is an important trait in your child’s
development. The way a person views him or herself affects
not only the way the rest of the world sees them, but also
how far they will go in life. If children lack the
self-esteem needed to even strive towards their goals, they
are never going to reach them.
One way children develop their self-esteem is through
praise. For children, especially at a young age, this may be
one of the only ways they can judge right from wrong.
Praising children when they do something right, behave well
or even give something their best effort will encourage them
to continue acting that way.
Something you might try in your own home to help a child’s
self-esteem is setting up a star chart, similar to what many
school teachers do. If the child does a good deed or is
especially good all day, they get a gold star on their
chart. Each time they misbehave, a star is taken away. Set
up a certain number of stars the child needs to reach in
order to get a special prize like a trip to the park or
their favorite dinner.
As your children pursue their goals, they will turn to you
for help. Simply praising everything they do will leave them
no room for growth. If you take on a method of constructive
criticism that reflects the positive aspects of the
children’s attempts but also gives suggestions for
improvement, you will help them overcome obstacles that may
get in the way of reaching their goals as well as give them
a healthy self-esteem. Start by complimenting what a great
job they’ve done, and then give them direction on how they
can improve.
Letting your children be themselves is an important part of
giving them high self-esteem. If you are judging them all
the time, they will eventually come to view everyone’s
judgment as a dictation of how they should act. They should
learn that it doesn’t matter what other people think as long
as you believe you are being true to yourself and doing the
right thing.
To encourage individuality at a young age, let your children
pick out which clothes they want to wear. As long as you
make sure it is weather-appropriate, this is a great way for
them to express themselves and get a sense of independence.
Be sure to praise the great job they did, even if the
clothes don’t exactly match. Letting children make harmless
decisions when they are young is good practice for real
decision making when they are older.
Self-esteem is not something that your children can learn.
It is something that needs to be developed and nurtured in
order to grow. You don’t want your child thinking he or she
is better than everyone else, but having a strong sense of
self-esteem in essential to your child’s success in life.
Solomon Brenner has been teaching martial arts to children
and adults for ten years, and holds a 6th degree black belt
in Kenpo Karate. During that time he has held countless
seminars on subjects such as self-esteem in children and
teens, behavior and discipline, praise vs. punishment,
career motivation, goal setting, parenting, and self
defense. He has spoken to elementary schools, women’s
groups, scouting organizations, civic associations and
corporate seminars. Using these experiences, he has recently
authored Black Belt Parenting “the art of raising children
for success”, a motivational how-to book for parents.
Solomon Brenner through his extensive research in human
potential is a best selling Author, speaker and columnist on
success and parenting he can be reached at
Actionkarate@comcast.net or 267-939-0424
